So, Mr. President. Lemme tell you why your bracket's dog chow, except for your national champ pick, Kansas:

Time to break out the confetti and noisemakers, Fort Wayne: You are home to a national champ.

Jeff Rekeweg's Saint Francis Cougars stand one win away from an NAIA Division II national championship.

So Brady Quinn is off to Denver for two boxtops and a Happy Meal toy.

... comes courtesy of the blog The Big Lead, and of course it involves the NCAA tournament.

So now the NCAA tournament is set, and it's time to begin the arduous process of deciding which team will reduce your bracket to a smoking crater decorated with random bits of John Wall ...

We're still waiting to see whether Ben Roethlisberger will be formally charged with crime for what did or didn't happen in a college-town Georgia nightclub a week ago. But while we're waiting, a few thoughts:

Apparently I am the only person in America who doesn't think Michigan basketball coach John Beilein is the biggest idiot who ever breathed air.

So, have you heard about Tim Tebow's Wonderlic score?It was 22.That makes him A) dumber than Jimmy Clausen; B) dumber than an Adirondack chair; or C) neither of the above, because the Wonderlic is about as accurate a predictor of NFL success as the SAT is of academic success in college.The answer: C.

... is all about when Tiger Woods will return to competitive golf.The Associated Press says one thing. The New York Post says another thing. Woods' buddy Mark O'Meara says yet another thing.My guess: Tiger comes back at the Masters.

A moment of silence, please, to honor the passing of Merlin Olsen, who went from Utah State to the Fearsome Foursome to Canton and then to Walnut Grove, where he kept Charles Ingalls from getting his butt kicked by drunken thugs from Sleepy Eye ... well, too many times to count.

So this is the end result of NASCAR's attempt to artificially inject old-school rowdiness into its product: Carl Edwards sending Brad Keselowski roof-first into the retaining wall at Atlanta Sunday.While he was, um, 153 laps down.And after he'd intentionally returned to the track for the expressed purpose of wrecking Keselowski.

Everyone else has weighed in on this, so I guess it's my turn.What are the Chicago Bears thinking.

My gut generally doesn't lead me astray, although it does occasionally lead me through a drive-thru. And my gut tells me Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is in a heap o' trouble.In case you missed it, Roethlisberger is the subject of a sexual assault complaint by a 20-year-old college student, stemming from an incident in a Milledgeville, Ga., nightclub Friday night

... or, "Punchin' Brittney," as the case may be.

Or, more accurately, "Today's Elin Update."